January 26, 2020
Matthew 4:12-23
When someone believes in you, everything changes. Yes, believing in yourself is important, but having someone else believe in you, especially when that someone else is an authority figure, is life changing.
There is this article that’s been making its way across the internet lately that speaks to this very point, except it comes at the issue from the opposite direction. This article, titled “The Coach that Killed My Passion” really resonated with me the first time I read it. Like the author, I’ve had numerous coaches throughout my life. Some good and some bad. Those bad coaches, though, are hard to forget. They chose certain players as their favorites and no matter what the other players did, they would never be worthy of being chosen. You see, those bad coaches seemed to forget that self-worth can get tangled up in whether or not a coach, an authority figure, deems you worthy of being chosen.
I like to think these coaches don’t really know what they are doing, but I’m not always so sure that is the case. Now, whenever I go to any type of game, I watch the coach to see how they interact with their players. I watch the players’ body language because I believe body language oftentimes speaks louder than words. I pay special attention to those players entering the game after it has already started, known as coming off the bench. Are they timid? Are they scared? If so, there is a reason and most often that reason is in the way their coach has treated them.
Some coaches appear to be more naturally inclined to yelling, and it doesn’t seem to matter if the yelling gets positive results or not. They just yell. That yelling, though, takes on a greater significance when that timid, scared player coming off the bench makes a mistake. Anyone with any sense should recognize the mistake was inevitable because everyone makes mistakes and I mean everyone. But when you add in the fact of being scared to make a mistake the likelihood of that happening goes through the roof. When that player is immediately taken out of the game the inner belief of being unworthy is solidified especially when the tone of that yelling coach begins sounding more like public humiliation. When that tone starts to feel more like public rejection, it confirms, albeit just in the players mind, how unworthy he/she truly is. It is a painful scene to live and always for me just as painful to watch.
**********************************
The feeling of being unworthy is crippling, yet it seems inevitable when someone in authority rejects you. No one ever really wants to be rejected, and in extremely rare cases that rejection has served as motivation to become great. More times than not, though, rejection leaves a permanent negative scar. It is really cool to be chosen and it really hurts to be rejected.
I believe Jesus knew all about those negative scars when he chose Simon who was called Peter and Andrew his brother. I believe Jesus knew all about the lasting effects of those scars when he chose James the son of Zebedee and his brother John. I have believed this from the moment I first learned about the system of education during Jesus day. A system that all Jewish children participated in… A system that rejected most of its students. Not because those students were bad. It’s just that the system only wanted the cream of the cream of the crop and when that is the goal, rejection of the masses is inevitable.
So in all likelihood, Simon who was called Peter – Andrew his brother – James the son of Zebedee and his brother John, had been told by some other person in authority that they had not been chosen and they needed to return home to learn the family trade. I like to think they had worked hard in school, but ultimately, I’m not sure that matters. The system had determined their destiny, and their destiny did not include following and learning from a Rabbi.
That is until this other Rabbi came on the scene. This other Rabbi who spoke truth to power and in doing so turned oppressive systems upside down. This other Rabbi who chose his first disciples in a beautifully non-conventional way for this other Rabbi chose those who the other system had rejected. This other Rabbi chose those who were already back home learning their trade. They had already been through the system and told that even though they worked hard, even though they were passionate about following the commands of the Torah, they simply weren’t good enough and as a result it was time for them to go learn a trade. That is who Jesus, this other Rabbi, chose and he used that particular catch phrase they would’ve understood, “Follow Me.” And when he said that, when he chose them, they immediately dropped their nets and followed. When this other Rabbi said “Follow Me” they immediately left their boat and their father and followed.
And what exactly did following Jesus mean? Well since we are on this side of the story we know, but they were living their story in real time and like us I do not believe they could see into their future. And if they couldn’t see in their future then it is safe to say they really didn’t know what they were getting into when they dropped their nets, left the boat and left their father. The thing is, they still did it. They might have had doubts, we don’t know, but if they did those doubts didn’t become a determining factor for them. You see, being chosen is huge, especially after feeling the sting of rejection. Jesus said “Follow Me” – they immediately followed and their destiny changed. The Good News is, “Follow Me” had value and it meant that no matter what anyone else had ever said previously, no matter how that other system made them feel, they were worthy of being chosen.
*****************************
Luckily, we have story after story of people bouncing back from rejection. All of those stories include new stories about being chosen. Those new stories about being chosen provide those who were once rejected a new understanding about who they are and that new understanding helps shape them and place them on a path toward becoming their best self. That is, at least partly, what Jesus did here. He gave Simon who was called Peter and his brother Andrew. He gave James the son of Zebedee and his brother John new understandings about themselves and he did it without ever asking them to be more than they already were for they were already fishermen when they encountered Jesus and apparently that was exactly who they needed to be.
A few months after writing about the coach that killed her passion, Madison Trout of DePauw University, wrote a second article about coaches and the effects they can have on their athletes. This one, though, was titled “The Coach That Brought Me Back.” This one was her letter to that un-named coach thanking him/her for numerous things, the most important of which was believing in her. She writes, “Dear Coach,
You were the first to believe in me... I have been overlooked my entire athletic career, I'm not strong or tall, or look like a natural athlete. But I had a passion for learning, to work on my skills, and because of that you saw me and believed in me more than anyone ever has… You are everything I want to be as a player and as a coach.
Although I did not get to play for you for very long, you have made a lasting impact on my life. No one has believed in me or made me believe in myself like you did.”[1]
Being chosen is cool and being rejected hurts. Being chosen after being rejected – well that is transformational, and it is of unlimited value. It is what Jesus did for those first four disciples and it is what he keeps doing for everyone every day. All that is required is to follow.
[Prayer]
Amen!
[1] Trout, Madison, https://www.theodysseyonline.com/dear-coach-thank-you-for-everything
Matthew 4:12-23
When someone believes in you, everything changes. Yes, believing in yourself is important, but having someone else believe in you, especially when that someone else is an authority figure, is life changing.
There is this article that’s been making its way across the internet lately that speaks to this very point, except it comes at the issue from the opposite direction. This article, titled “The Coach that Killed My Passion” really resonated with me the first time I read it. Like the author, I’ve had numerous coaches throughout my life. Some good and some bad. Those bad coaches, though, are hard to forget. They chose certain players as their favorites and no matter what the other players did, they would never be worthy of being chosen. You see, those bad coaches seemed to forget that self-worth can get tangled up in whether or not a coach, an authority figure, deems you worthy of being chosen.
I like to think these coaches don’t really know what they are doing, but I’m not always so sure that is the case. Now, whenever I go to any type of game, I watch the coach to see how they interact with their players. I watch the players’ body language because I believe body language oftentimes speaks louder than words. I pay special attention to those players entering the game after it has already started, known as coming off the bench. Are they timid? Are they scared? If so, there is a reason and most often that reason is in the way their coach has treated them.
Some coaches appear to be more naturally inclined to yelling, and it doesn’t seem to matter if the yelling gets positive results or not. They just yell. That yelling, though, takes on a greater significance when that timid, scared player coming off the bench makes a mistake. Anyone with any sense should recognize the mistake was inevitable because everyone makes mistakes and I mean everyone. But when you add in the fact of being scared to make a mistake the likelihood of that happening goes through the roof. When that player is immediately taken out of the game the inner belief of being unworthy is solidified especially when the tone of that yelling coach begins sounding more like public humiliation. When that tone starts to feel more like public rejection, it confirms, albeit just in the players mind, how unworthy he/she truly is. It is a painful scene to live and always for me just as painful to watch.
**********************************
The feeling of being unworthy is crippling, yet it seems inevitable when someone in authority rejects you. No one ever really wants to be rejected, and in extremely rare cases that rejection has served as motivation to become great. More times than not, though, rejection leaves a permanent negative scar. It is really cool to be chosen and it really hurts to be rejected.
I believe Jesus knew all about those negative scars when he chose Simon who was called Peter and Andrew his brother. I believe Jesus knew all about the lasting effects of those scars when he chose James the son of Zebedee and his brother John. I have believed this from the moment I first learned about the system of education during Jesus day. A system that all Jewish children participated in… A system that rejected most of its students. Not because those students were bad. It’s just that the system only wanted the cream of the cream of the crop and when that is the goal, rejection of the masses is inevitable.
So in all likelihood, Simon who was called Peter – Andrew his brother – James the son of Zebedee and his brother John, had been told by some other person in authority that they had not been chosen and they needed to return home to learn the family trade. I like to think they had worked hard in school, but ultimately, I’m not sure that matters. The system had determined their destiny, and their destiny did not include following and learning from a Rabbi.
That is until this other Rabbi came on the scene. This other Rabbi who spoke truth to power and in doing so turned oppressive systems upside down. This other Rabbi who chose his first disciples in a beautifully non-conventional way for this other Rabbi chose those who the other system had rejected. This other Rabbi chose those who were already back home learning their trade. They had already been through the system and told that even though they worked hard, even though they were passionate about following the commands of the Torah, they simply weren’t good enough and as a result it was time for them to go learn a trade. That is who Jesus, this other Rabbi, chose and he used that particular catch phrase they would’ve understood, “Follow Me.” And when he said that, when he chose them, they immediately dropped their nets and followed. When this other Rabbi said “Follow Me” they immediately left their boat and their father and followed.
And what exactly did following Jesus mean? Well since we are on this side of the story we know, but they were living their story in real time and like us I do not believe they could see into their future. And if they couldn’t see in their future then it is safe to say they really didn’t know what they were getting into when they dropped their nets, left the boat and left their father. The thing is, they still did it. They might have had doubts, we don’t know, but if they did those doubts didn’t become a determining factor for them. You see, being chosen is huge, especially after feeling the sting of rejection. Jesus said “Follow Me” – they immediately followed and their destiny changed. The Good News is, “Follow Me” had value and it meant that no matter what anyone else had ever said previously, no matter how that other system made them feel, they were worthy of being chosen.
*****************************
Luckily, we have story after story of people bouncing back from rejection. All of those stories include new stories about being chosen. Those new stories about being chosen provide those who were once rejected a new understanding about who they are and that new understanding helps shape them and place them on a path toward becoming their best self. That is, at least partly, what Jesus did here. He gave Simon who was called Peter and his brother Andrew. He gave James the son of Zebedee and his brother John new understandings about themselves and he did it without ever asking them to be more than they already were for they were already fishermen when they encountered Jesus and apparently that was exactly who they needed to be.
A few months after writing about the coach that killed her passion, Madison Trout of DePauw University, wrote a second article about coaches and the effects they can have on their athletes. This one, though, was titled “The Coach That Brought Me Back.” This one was her letter to that un-named coach thanking him/her for numerous things, the most important of which was believing in her. She writes, “Dear Coach,
You were the first to believe in me... I have been overlooked my entire athletic career, I'm not strong or tall, or look like a natural athlete. But I had a passion for learning, to work on my skills, and because of that you saw me and believed in me more than anyone ever has… You are everything I want to be as a player and as a coach.
Although I did not get to play for you for very long, you have made a lasting impact on my life. No one has believed in me or made me believe in myself like you did.”[1]
Being chosen is cool and being rejected hurts. Being chosen after being rejected – well that is transformational, and it is of unlimited value. It is what Jesus did for those first four disciples and it is what he keeps doing for everyone every day. All that is required is to follow.
[Prayer]
Amen!
[1] Trout, Madison, https://www.theodysseyonline.com/dear-coach-thank-you-for-everything
